Break out the make-up and silicon and send a

brave El Salvadoran refugee woman

To Mar a Lago (Ha-Birah)

And declare a fast day

And in the penthouse

He will extend his scepter

And she will touch his scepter

For the sake of her people.

(For the sake of her people. I know, disgusting. But that is the story.)

And when the lawyer hands her the $120,000 check

She will tear it up into 120,000 little pieces

And she’ll negotiate until she gets what she came for

And all the ICE activities scheduled for September 9, 2019 will be canceled

And the King will dispose of his advisors and, lo, the advisors will herby perform the

Walk of Shame

And their seven-figure book-deals will be rescinded.

And on that day the tens of thousands of El Salvadorans hidden in apartments, homes, and hotel rooms will be safe to return to work, to take their children to school, to walk to the playground without fear of arrest and incarceration.

And the king will say that this was his plan all along.

But it is her name that the children will cheer on forever,

Blissfully unaware of her greatest act of bravery,

And she’ll see to it that in the next generation no daughter of any people will have to touch a scepter that she doesn’t want to touch.

And then there will be:

Light.

Gladness.

Joy.

Honor.

But until then…

Groggers out! Raise ’em high! Spin!!!